Tip #29: OMG

A-list bloggers are like angry, spoiled schoolgirls. Calibrate your pitches accordingly.


Filed under Relationships

10 responses to “Tip #29: OMG

  1. mercurygrove

    Best PR-tip to date!

  2. That is funny and unfortunately true.

  3. Aditi Sharma

    These are so helpful and hilarious!

  4. Brad

    Irony: A-list bloggers

  5. Remove the gender bias and you might be on to something.

    Actually, most bloggers I know would love to get a pitch (as long as it is relevant to the blog and hasn’t been shopped everywhere).

  6. sj

    Right you are. Brats, even.

  7. Too true. Except, schoolgirls would never be allowed this ridiculous degree of power and influence.

    When is the backlash going to happen?

  8. And yet, everyone keeps supporting the same whiny-little-biatch blog list and descrying the same old abuses. As every critical thinker fully realizes, Silicon Valley is not such a literal 7th grade playground, as I’ve sometimes polemicized, however much it may seem to operate that way. We can and do sometimes make adult choices and could make more of them if we so chose to do. However, by continually catering to the spoiled screamers we continue to feed the debilitating co-dependence generally expressed in the above comments from others. Ironically, humans seem to generally crave the dysfunctional stability of popularity contests and the pathetic predictability of pecking orders, just as nation-states love the mutually morally destructive economic stability of wars (cold or hot, it’s all the same). Amongst individuals, we seem to rather create disingenuous, ego-infested, back-biting pecking orders; and among nation-states, an unconscionable, perpetual, ideological nation-state blood feud: these, rather than the dynamic ambiguity of a truly egalitarian society of socially, anatomically, and cognitively diverse peers of substantially equal social status.

    What would a sociological P2P human network really look like? It may not be within our genetic limitations to ever know. We complain about social hierarchies and then recreate them everywhere humans show up. Add to that the complete logical inconsistency of equating social credibility with credit ratings and bank statements and we’ve come fairly close to reverse engineering the genesis of the script for Fight Club (and possibly BitchSlap; though I need to see the full film to confirm that assertion).

    Perhaps Silicon Valley should symbolically join Hollywood and make an implicit rule that you can’t even own property or be hired for a gig unless you are engaged in some form of lifelong cognitive behavioral therapy. Medications optional, per practitioner’s expert analysis, but ITERATIVE REFLECTIVE PROCESS mandatory. Like Hollywood’s entertainment jungle (props to AXL), this cannibalistic pay-to-play startup culture is a cosmic vortex of frenetic overachieving cognitive and behavioral social deviants — look it up if need be, deviant doesn’t equate to its pop-cultural implications any more than “hacker” equates to recalcitrant agent of evil — whose extraordinary intellects and relentless creative energies make the dynamo hum, yet whose moody, erratic quantum fluctuations make the place scintillate with concentric auras of uncertainty, absurdity, self-loathing, and doubt: all wrapped up in a condescending smile cued and synced with an incessant elevator-pitch sound track.

    We technology innovators may have much more in common with you than suspected, my dear thespian drama queen brothers and sisters. Eminently bright, accomplished, and fucked up beyond all recognition. Doesn’t that about sum it up?

    Maybe that’s why I love this place; it’s the only place I’ve ever felt that I truly fit right in.

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